Eddy’s Story as told by his mother.
Welcoming Eddy into the world
When Eddy was born, he decided to make us wait a little longer, gracing us with his presence two weeks past the due date. He weighed an astonishing 4.75kg and had a whole head full of hair. We chose to find out the gender at birth which made the moment even more exciting.
Amidst the joy and excitement, there were whispers of concern. During a routine ultrasound, the doctors had spotted something unusual with one of Eddy's kidneys which appeared dilated. As soon as I gave birth, the doctors took him for further testing and revealed that it was not one, but both of his kidneys that were affected. He immediately commenced treatment and within a year, the issue had been corrected..
Early years
Eddy proved to be a little trailblazer, reaching achieving all his milestones earlier than most children his age. He could sit on his own at 4 months old and took his first steps at 10 months, skipping the phase of crawling altogether. He slept all through the night and had a huge appetite, to his favourite treats, fruits and crunchy breadsticks.
There were very few challenges, reflux issues and occasional bouts of constipation. I remember hearing his very first word, 'kaya”, and our hearts swelled with excitement, looking forward to hearing him say more. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and months into years but Eddy's vocabulary continued to comprise of single words. His toys were his companions, lined up with precision. I also noticed he tiptoed almost all the time preferring not to lay his foot flat. We also noticed something unique about him, his sensitivity to the world around him. Bright lights would make him cringe, and loud noises seemed to overwhelm his senses. It became apparent that we needed to find a way to help him navigate this, so we purchased noise-cancelling headphones, which helped.
I remember sharing these nuances, with the family doctor. Each time, we were informed that there was nothing to worry about. With Eddy having achieved so much already, the doctors explained that moderate developmental delays were common and nothing to worry about. "He will talk one day," they would say, giving us the reassurance we needed. Despite the speech delay, there was hope especially when I watched Eddy in the company of other children. He was always cheerful and joining tin the games. By the age of three, he was potty trained but interestingly preferred a diaper when not urinating.
The diagnosis
When Eddy was about 3 years old, I watched an interview through which Tony Braxton shared her experience of raising a child with autism. As she shared her story, I saw fragments of behaviours and traits that Eddy had exhibited. Autism was a word I had never truly encountered before, yet it was as if her story gave me a key to unlock a new chapter of understanding my own experiences.
I reached out to the GP, and we were subsequently referred for further tests. It was after a whole 6 months of waiting and anxiety that we got the confirmation that Eddy had Autism. It was a validation of what we had sensed all along. Eddy immediately started speech therapy and we introduced pictures as a bridge for communication.
Primary and High School
At school, Eddy was encouraged to express his desires using these pictures especially during mealtimes. He resisted this, perhaps because of his desire to blend in with his peers and avoid anything that set him apart or made him stand out. It was during this phase that my own worries began to emerge. Food, a necessity that usually brought joy, took on a different tone.
As Eddy started to dislike standing in line during mealtimes with his peers, I sensed that this discomfort stemmed from a deeper place. The pictures and his developing speech, while tools of empowerment, also highlighted his uniqueness. I started to pack his lunches, hoping to ease his discomfort, but the distance between us during school hours heightened my concern. The thought of him navigating his meals alone, without the comfort of my watchful presence, made me worry often.
Transitioning from a mainstream school to a special school in Secondary school marked a pivotal moment for Eddy. The shift to a smaller sand more intimate setting seemed to resonate with him on a deeper level. The confidence he gained in this nurturing space made a huge difference in his progress. Over time, the words started to flow, forming sentences. The conversations we shared became precious moments of connection. Eddy would recount his school days, sharing snippets of his experiences and even the shows he enjoyed on TV.
When I would try ask questions, his go-to response was "I don't know”. As time went on, I learnt the power of giving him space to express himself freely. It was a journey of empowerment, of watching his confidence grow.
As the teenage years unfolded, so did Eddy's unique personality and abilities. McDonald's became his small victory, a place where he could assert his independence by ordering for himself, although the games were not his cup of tea. Athletics and rugby became his arenas of triumph, his medals are a testament to his dedication and skill. His prowess in swimming, despite my initial concerns, showcased his ability to conquer challenges head-on.
Eddy and Mom
Eddy has always loved cars, and can tell you everything about cars, from the year they were made, the engine, performance even from a distance. He started watching Formular 1 at a very young age with my brother who taught him how to play racing games. To nurture his passion, I also get him top gear book every Christmas which helps him with developing his knowledge of cars. As part of his work experience in high school he followed his heart and chose a company that deals in cars. This opened a new chapter of his story as the company offered him a permanent position.
He dreams of retiring early, travelling to Japan, the United States, and eventually settling in Tanzania. As I look into the future, I can only imagine what the future holds. Perhaps a marriage or even children of his own. If he does move out, I see him visiting all the time as we share a strong bond. Having a child who is autistic changes who you are and how you see the world. You teach yourself the ability to remain calm and prayers certainly help. Therapy is essential as it helps them to find themselves. This is something I did not believe in at the beginning, but it has certainly helped. If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell myself not to worry and stress much. Eddy did talk in the end and turned out fine after all.
Eddy and Siska
Eddy and George
